


From the Journal of Bucky Barnes, entry 2

by thekitgregoryblog



Series: From the Journal of Bucky Barnes [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Cute memories, Fluff, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Stucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 03:58:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8874826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekitgregoryblog/pseuds/thekitgregoryblog
Summary: Bucky remembers a Christmas memory with Steve from before the war.





	

I couldn’t sleep tonight, so I decided to give this writing thing another go. Seemed to help last time so maybe it’ll give me enough peace of mind to go back to bed. Besides, it’s getting too cold for this bullshit and my feet are freezing because Sam hid all my socks somewhere in this goddamn apartment. 

~~ Reminder: kick Sam’s ass tomorrow ~~

~~ Reminder: ask Steve to go get more fuzzy socks ~~

I don’t know if it’s better to talk about the past or the future in these types of things. I thought about writing down some of my nightmares but the thought of having a little black book full of shitty dreams didn’t really make me feel any better about them. They’re probably best staying in my head anyway. No need to worry anyone else, especially you. God knows what lengths you would go to just do that I could have a good night’s sleep. You’ve already wasted so much time on me that if I took up any more of it, the guilt would probably eat me alive. 

Christmas is only three weeks away and I still have no idea what to get you. I even thought about asking Sam for help but for some reason I had the feeling he’d tell me to get you something dumb, like one of those light-up tooth brushes you can buy at the drugstore. (Okay, those light-up tooth brushes are really cool actually). It reminds me of the Christmas before I went overseas, when you and I had our own little celebration and made presents for each other. You’d caught a mighty bad cold and were shivering the whole damn time, scaring me to death with each cough you rattled out. I kept telling you that we could put it off until tomorrow, that it wouldn’t make a goddamn difference, but you were so determined to do it on Christmas night that you practically fought me until I opened it. I remember it was wrapped in newspaper and when I opened it, I gotta admit I was a little confused at first. A book? I mean, c’mon, we both knew I didn’t like to read but I was already getting ready to give you my best smile anyways because it was you and no matter what I was determined to like it. Then I realized, it wasn’t just any old book. I’d seen it countless of times before; from mornings out on the balcony and late nights where I’d tease you to let me see it. 

It was your sketchbook. The one your Ma gave you before she passed and you’d carried it around with you ever since. It was one of the few things we didn’t share with each other and I respected that, so it was the last thing that I’d ever expect to end up in my lap. But yet, there it was. I swear, Stevie, I thought my heart was gonna burst right there in my chest and take us both away in the aftermath because you’d given me your fucking  _ sketchbook _ . I felt like I was holding your soul in my hands, a thing heavy with the weight of things you’ve been through but light with your hope that there was always a day to make the world better. Truth be told, I was even a little afraid to open it before you nudged my arm and sniffled out, “Go on then, jerk. I didn’t give it to you to use as a paperweight.”

I don’t know what happened to that sketchbook. I wish I did, if only just to figure out who happened to stumble upon it after us or if it ended up in a trashcan after things in our apartment were thrown out in the street. If it did end up in someone else’s hands, I hope they took good care of it. I hope they felt the passion and heart that went into your sketches, and that they were a better person for looking through it. Because, in all honesty, that’s what you do to people, Stevie. And that’s a gift that keeps on giving all year round, not only at Christmas. 

By knowing you, I already got my Christmas present. 

  
I think I’m gonna buy you a sketchbook.


End file.
